Working almost two decades in the death care industry, Dora Carpenter says, “Too many hopes and dreams are being buried in the cemetery. Too many are not living the vision destined for them.” She says, “Yes, it can be challenging to make shifts in our lives after loss, but if not now, when? The circumstances of your past do not have to determine the path of your future. Life is here. It is now. It is waiting for you!"
The Spectrum of Loss is Huge. Moving beyond life's transitions, grief, and fear can be challenging, but left unresolved can negatively affect other areas of your life. I like to use the analogy of the tree to illustrate moving beyond the loss, setback, or circumstance. Let’s start with the roots. Beneath the surface are those widespread roots indicating the many facets or sources of loss:
Death – Relationship – Finances – Home – Health Possessions – Self – Separation – Divorce – Empty Nest – Family – Friendships – Job – Career Marriage – Miscarriage – Stillborn – Murder – Suicide – Accident – Dreams – Self-Confidence – Independence – Retirement – Change – Pet – Aging – Illness – Respect – Loneliness – Fear – Childhood – Bullying – Security – Provision – Seniority – Happiness – Change – Children – Relocation – Substance Abuse – Hope – Alzheimer’s – Cancer – Dementia – Alcoholism – Disaster – Trauma – Misfortune – Alienation – Legacy – Memories – Companionship – Starting Over – Love – Abandonment – Trust – Intimacy
The large sturdy trunk of the tree is where we harbor the many normal and natural emotions resulting from the loss … how we grieve. That heavy trunk holds the space for the hurt, pain, sadness, disappointment, anger, guilt, regret, loneliness, fear, self-doubt, etc.
But what about the branches, leaves, buds, flowers, fruit? They signify hope, life, new growth, rebirth, renewal, springtime! What will happen if you choose to do nothing about your grief? Take a chance to choose to move beyond the loss so your tree will spring forward and blossom again. Use the life-affirming lessons learned and experience gained from the withering or dying tree to blossom again, maybe even more beautiful than before.